Parent about teen dating
If you could, you might want to have a goal of get teen to stop having sex.
But you seem equally convinced that this is not achievable.
Its a complicated situation ( late, international, cross racial adoption, early trauma,etc. I would very much appreciate just seasoned experience and practical advice .
Quite agree no preaching - if you believe your kid to be sexually active - and if it agrees with religious beliefs - I advise putting her on the pill.
Past efforts to monitor a dating situation have failed, either because of being lied to or because of being let down by a past boyfriend's dad who promised to supervise if the two spent time at his house when he WAS there and did not. Knowing I cannot control what she does, I want to set age- appropriate parameters and attempt to hold her to them. Also, these parameters cannot be based on expecting truthfulness or abstinence.
They have to be based on something else, giving her reasonable guidelines within which to learn to take responsibility for herself.
I am only speaking from experience my daughter, found herself pregnant at 14 and although it brought us closer together emotionally, it was not a pleasant experience.
She is now 18, more mature and a fabulous person, looking back she says I was just a kid - what did I know that something like that would happen to me. I have a 16 year old daughter, though she is pretty easy, but I was a troubled 16 year old once (and I have also transracially adopted a child with challenges).
The new shot that prevents cervical cancer would be a good idea too. She's in a kinda bookish group at school, and few of her friends have ''gone out'' with guys yet. Did you or another adult chauffeur, or was it at one of the kids' homes? I give my daughter possible things to say to boys in different situations because sometimes we just can't think of the right words at the right time! anon Group dating seems to be the best idea I heard until ...maybe 18?When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc.It's unclear to me what your goals are, and this is the first step in setting up guidelines or procedures of any sort.It sounds from your message as if you are conflicted with regard to your goal.